Most of you know by now that Aaron and I are expecting our third little bundle of joy. We are so excited! To have another little one join our family, is amazing. Each little one brings so much joy and different gifts. Every child is wonderful and I can't help feeling the desire to protect and love those children I see suffering in the world where they are having natural disasters and wars and other things like it.
Since about Christmas time I have been very sick with this pregnancy. I don't think I have ever felt this entirely sick before, for so long. After a while it is difficult to remember that I can be normal and accomplish the stuff I need to and want to. All I remember is that I don't have the ability to do much. In a way I feel worthless. I can barely take care of myself and my girls. In fact, sometimes, I can't take care of us. I have come to feel a greater understanding of those who are sick or unwell.
Compassion, I have come to realize comes to us through our own times of weakness. There are many people who don't understand others
weaknesses, and cannot tolerate them, in fact we all are probably guilty of that to some degree. My mother keeps telling me, you can have a clean house or a baby, which do you want? I know that is very wise and I need to keep that in mind, but it is still difficult to not be able to do something. In fact the worst part of that is the huge lack of desire to do a lot. And when I do do a lot of work it makes me very ill.
Well, that is just my way of trying to explain the way I have felt through this pregnancy so far, and to tell those of you who are sick with every pregnancy the entire time, I now have a greater sympathy.